Sunday, '6th of February, 3:30 am.

i would want to dedicate this post solely for what happened today. this post is about that moment. that life altering moment that will alter the course of my life. its something so beautiful but monstrous. its something so delicate but harsh. its something so honest yet offensive. its something precise but out of tune. its something good but sad. today my life had changed for the better.

i get it now. i really really get it now. today's pivotal moment for the better may prove to be ironic if i put it literally and not figuratively. well, to be exact my beloved red-and-white-clad boys who kick balls finally met their match earlier tonight. Manchester United finally lost a premier league game to the deserving 'giant killers' Wolverhampton Wanderers who currently occupy the 20th position in the league. that was the hardest blow for me this year. wow. its like a super tight smack on my left butt cheek.

maybe I'm just waiting for the right moment to make a change in my not-so-productive life. this might be ludicrous for some but who the heck cares. with symbolism in play and speaking metaphorically, the game earlier really did change the way i think. my life has been stagnant and at ease this past one and a half months. i haven't been doing the things that i said i wanted to do. the time has come for a change. that football team i supported sat comfortably on top for awhile. easing their opponents as they stay unbeaten. they got tamed as they tried to tame their underestimated opponent. they end up losing. and all of a sudden everything doesn't seem to fit in anymore. there's no more record to be proud of and there wouldn't be anything more for them to be proud of if they slipped. but that's just life. right ?

no more. i don't want to be that lazy ass who sits around in front of the computer all day staring and random pictures and confusing statuses. i want to live my life to the fullest doing the things that will make me proud at the end of the day. i want to be productive. i want to be fucking prolific for god's sake. i don't want to just be comfortable thinking that I'm at the top of my game while in reality I'm really not. i don't want to create a dodgy fantasy that might get me excited for some time and feel burdened when i snap back into reality. i want this to be real. and in reality, this fucking guy below is fucking happy tonight. till then.