"we have a greed with which we have agreed"

as he said, "she was the wrong girl" and "he was the wrong man". a tale of lies and confusion that was not purposely created as a form of fulfillment. it was rather a mistake. I've said it already and I'll say it again. a mistake. when a well structured young man meets a young lady with similar stature and decided to get married and start a family the outcome would be catastrophic. a young lad that they call son is rather a different one. a totally different outlook on life and living things. a whole new perception towards the thing we call 'human contact' and by choice led a different life that emphasize the 'needs' and tuned out the 'wants'. money is not everything and it will never compensate the lack of love in one's family. there's so much someone could learn from a book but life lessons can be obtained from anywhere. that movie managed to change the way i think.


Christoper Johnson McCandless was a traveler, a seeker, an extremist, a son and a soul that was lost in the wild. he escaped comfort and security so that he could live on the edge and be free. be free from literally everything. when someone said "i want to be free" i don't think they really mean it. a piece of their past will still be there, glued to his or her heart and by that he or she won't be as free. tied to the past that they call tomorrow while at the same time claiming that looking ahead to the future is so yesterday. the idea of stripping down everything else other than the clothes you're wearing and some basic necessities is pretty extreme but liberating. liberation. that's the word. setting yourself free from the disease they call 'society' that no penicillin would restrain. the desire to fit in, the tendency to be different so that he or she would be looked up upon, the strain of dramas as well as the obligation to protect one's feelings. sick. i feel sick. 


"I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong." said McCandless. its like a breath of fresh air to find a quotation that i could use and practice rather than those quotes they use to make themselves look superior though those quotes doesn't really mean anything. the past seems hard for me to just shrug off. its safe to say that my future seems like one big past. but I've learned a lot. things just happen. like all the decisions we made, the lives we touched or touched by, tears of sorrow or happiness that fell and all those laughter. they just happen. don't live by memories, live by moments. time would never wait for a dickhead like me. its about time i start living and not just breathing. I'll live my life, live my dreams, make my rules and my own scene. its about time i have to stop just being strong and start feeling strong.


the movie ended with McCandless dying out of hunger as he escaped society to live his solitary life in Alaska. he ran out of food and failed to hunt for game. he was alone and there was no turning back. snow turned to dirt and streams turned into monstrous rivers. he died with a smile on his face. in desperation to seek some form of nutrition he realised how much family and friends means to him and how wrong it is to try to be someone else just to escape. 'Into The Wild' is based on the true story of Christopher Johnson McCandless that went by the name of 'Alexander Supertramp' to leave his boxed up life by travelling all over the states to reach his goal that was in Alaska. his purity, wisdom and vision will be an inspiration. till then.