go away from my window, leave at your chosen speed.

I haven't been posting for awhile because of a simple fact that I just have no idea what to write about. to write about myself and my life is pretty pointless I guess. but its okay. I bet there is someone who would write about me as soon as I execute my elaborate plan to obliterate the bare existence of human being. ha ha. *snapping back to reality*  lately I've been having these sudden appreciation towards some elements in life that I often overlook. small things. yeah, those little things that are taken for granted. I guess I'm having a quarter life crisis.

I'm turning 18 this year and to reach my quarter life crisis right now would mean that I'll be dead when I'm approximately 72. by then I could have 14 grandchild and 5 kids to help me rule this cruel world. okay, enough about that. this sudden surge of emotions made me think about what I am, what I have and what I don't have. well, I found the reason why I shouldn't complain and the reason why I should be grateful.

I have a mom. I have a dad. I have friends. I eat well. I oversleep luxuriously. I'm not disabled. I can think. I can sing. I can dance. you got the point. I bet you guys would already use the 'C' word by now. cliche or not just take some time to think about it. I've seen a person who has no family, slightly deranged, doesn't eat that properly, sleep on a bed of card box and can't even sing or dance. I can say that he doesn't have friends too because he can't either sing or dance. I'm pretty sure he would be grateful to have your lives. I'm sure your lives are pretty decent too if you're able to read this.

please don't get me wrong. I would want more in my life too. a car of my own so I could take a girl out on a date or take my friends out on a road trip while singing along to Dylan. a closet full of new clothes so I wont be spotted wearing the same old shirt and pants again and again. a perfectly loving family so that won't have to wonder whats it like to have one. a person who would be my better half and supports me so that I won't just flail if I fall down the ledge. but there is more to life than all those. I guess this is a part of growing up. a grown up person sucks it up and doesn't complain but I doubt I'm even close to that. till then.